Is it cheating?

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:59 am

Is being babied by someone other than your partner cheating? Of course I'm talking no sex involved just being diaperd, fed,and cared for in general. What if your partner is just not into it, but it is a great need of yours. For me I think I would be bothered by it. Because you develop a great love for that person. But on the other hand maybe it just depends on the couple. Maybe if you love someone that much, you would want them to be fulfilled, even if you cannot be the one to do it. Or if that is something the AB feels strongly about and the partner just cannot bring themselves to be apart of it, maybe they should not be together. I don't know...what do you guys think.

wannabe_baby · Post by **wannabe_baby** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:26 am

I don't think it's cheating although it's definitely something I'd have a problem with if I was a regular everyday partner. Like you say Josie, I personally feel that if a partner can't accept the AB side of the person they claim to care so much about, then perhaps they shouldn't be together.

But if they DO care that much about each other, then there really shouldn't/wouldn't be any problem with the AB partner exploring those areas with somebody else, as long as it's non-sexual.

DommyMommyScarlet · Post by **DommyMommyScarlet** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:09 pm

I don't have a yes or no answer to this because in my opinion you can't just say yes or no. There are too many things to consider.The relationship of the couple, the type of contact adn relationship the AB and surrogate Mommy share.

babymarty · Post by **babymarty** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:21 am

There is a very clear answer to this question, however, it cannot be stated, it must be seen in your mind's eye, as you consider the following.

How would you feel if it was YOUR wife, husband, girlfriend, etc.?????

If you don't think being diapered and babied by another person is "cheating", then just picture him or her doing the same thing.

Or better yet, picture them with another fetish, say.... spanking or bondage. Are you "comfortable" with picturing your sweetie being all tied up and spanked by someone else?

It hurts, doesn't it?

Well, you have already answered the question.

Oh, and by the way, "cheating" cannot happen if there is 100% honesty!

If you go to your wife and say, "Honey, I'm going to this lady I met, she's a Mommy, and she's going to powder my bottom with baby powder, and diaper me just like a little baby. She's going to baby-talk to me, lovingly coo to me, and baby me just the way I like to be babied. Are you OK with this?" This, my friends, is NOT cheating.

However, if you LIE, SNEEK, CONCEAL, DECIVE, OMIT, then that IS CHEATING.

If you go to your boss at work, and say, "Hey boss, I'm taking 5,000 from the company account, and he say's, OK, take all the money you want." THAT IS NOT STEALING.

However, if you take the money under concealment, behind his back, lie about it, cover it up, sneek around, forge checks in his name, omit account information, short-change the till, stuff it down your pants, etc. etc. etc., THAT IS STEALING.

Class is now over. Thank you for attending Ethics 101.

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 10:16 am

Thank you so much for your posts. This question was posed to me the other day and I never really thought about it before. Marty, as usual

, makes a very good point. I have come to the conclusion that the meaning of 'cheating' is different for every couple. Some couples have open relationships with rules or without and some dont. So it all comes down to what is ok with both partners and how honest they are with each other. At least thats what I think. Thank you again for your opinions

mommy rebecca · Post by **mommy rebecca** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 11:52 pm

*gold star for Marty* Everything I feel and think about this topic has already been summed up in his post.

babymarty · Post by **babymarty** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 9:54 am

Thank you so much Josie and Rebecca!

It's so nice to see that we share the same values.

In a world torn by confusing and conflicting views on this subject, with an ex-president proudly wearing his lies and adultery like a badge of honor, with pain and sorrow rationalized as the byproduct of a lifestyle choice, it is only a good set of human ethics, feeling for the pain and hurt of others, that will guide us out of this wilderness of moral confusion.

Josie and Rebecca, I really like how you both think.

wannabe_baby · Post by **wannabe_baby** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:42 am

Yeah, marty pretty much said it the clearest. I'm sure we all agree with the basic statement behind it.

DommyMommyScarlet · Post by **DommyMommyScarlet** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 8:57 pm

Right Marty. I basically meant that by it would depend on the relationship of those involved.

Babyrc · Post by **Babyrc** » Sun Oct 14, 2007 10:55 pm

That is a very tough question. The way I see it, if you are open and honest with your spouse about your desires from the get go then there should be no problem either way.

I agree that if you conceal and lie about it then it probably should be considered cheating.

I try and put things into perspective though. In my case. I have been upfront and honest right away with anyone I have ever dated including my wife, the way I see it is, they can tell me right then and there if its something they cannot be a part of, and when I was dating if she couldn't be into it then I wasen't really interested, it was just thanks for your time nice meeting you and moving on.

So its a really bad situation to be stuck in a relationship with a person who cannot support a very powerful need you have however if you were not upfront about this at the beginning then you need to take some ownership for your situation. Cheating no matter how bad your relationship, is unacceptable.

So my answer is its fine if your spouse agrees if not then its cheating and if your spouse doesn't love you enough to fulfill your needs and refuses to let you get them fulfilled elsewhere then you are not with the right person.

Just remember though, its a two way street, if she is going to wipe your butt and change you and treat you like a baby then you better damn well please her when she needs something.

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 9:57 am

Thank you babyrc.

DommyMommyScarlet · Post by **DommyMommyScarlet** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 11:49 am

Babyrc wrote: Just remember though, its a two way street, if she is going to wipe your butt and change you and treat you like a baby then you better damn well please her when she needs something.

Well said

Naughty Nanny Ella · Post by **Naughty Nanny Ella** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 6:28 pm

I agree that there is no definitive answer to this question because it doesn't happen in a vacuum, it happens in a relationship.

What is cheating is doing something you said you wouldn't, or going behind someone's back. But if you are honest about your desires, and seek your partner's permission to have them satisfied by someone else, and you do it under agreed upon terms, how could that be cheating? If they say no, they are not comfortable with that, and you do it anyway, yes, I would consider that an infidelity.

Nanny Ella

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 9:23 am

Such good answers everyone thank you.

Mommy Star · Post by **Mommy Star** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:44 pm

This is fascinating. I avoid cheating by avoiding monogamy. It works for me.

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:06 am

Sounds goodto me Star.

wannabe_baby · Post by **wannabe_baby** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:54 am

*Gets confused*

But isn't that cheating anyway? Or is it that American euphemism "not being exclusive"?

Unless Star just doesn't date any men at all. Which is just a crime against mankind.

Glen · Post by **Glen** » Fri Nov 02, 2007 6:43 pm

I dont think that would be cheating wannabe_baby .. not if the person who chose to avoid monogomy relationships was honest and up front about it so that those who became involved with them know what to expect.

I have always beleived the human race wasnt intended to be monogomous creatures. It is something we learn as we grow up, not something that is instinctual.

Dont get me wrong, for me I consider myself as monogomous .. I was raised that way and I intend to honour the way I was raised. That is my belief. But I dont intend to enforce my beliefs on others and accept others may have a different way of seeing things or their culture may be different.

In fact I have been involved in a relationship where the second person had a more free philosophy on life and I accepted that was who she was and it created no problems for either of us. All I insisted was that she was honest with me and she always kept her side of the bargain. I guess honesty and trust is really the key factor in things like this.

I studied a semster of philosophy on Ethics while attending university and one of the things we looked closely at was instinctual versus aquired beliefs/morals and the role they play in our day to day lives and decision making. Funny enough this topic was often raised as an example.

In closing I believe it is an individuals choice of how they choose to proceed in matters like these but they can only make that choice for themselves.

Lauren · Post by **Lauren** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:02 am

Love this question. It is very thought-provoking.

"Cheating" is going against the agreement set forth in the relationship. If it is agreed that it is okay to be diapered or to diaper another,then it is not cheating. Cheating occurs when there is dishonesty and concealment, not when there is honesty and complete disclosure.

MommyJosie · Post by **MommyJosie** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:46 am

Thank you lauren, I completely agree.