One of my weirdest fantasies is to have my lover fart around me. When I first met him we were both nervous. We agreed to a first date and decided to meet at a fancy Italian restaurant. I think the butterflies turned into nerves and we consumed copious amounts of fettuccine alfredo, ravioli and rigatoni. We, also, had gin martinis before dinner and then shared a bottle of white wine before we transitioned to a bottle of red wine. Needless to say our stomachs were beginning to bubble and gassy emissions started to fly. I, being the lady that I am, tried to keep all of my farts inside, which led to terrible stomach cramps. My date, whom would later become my boyfriend, didn’t have as much discipline. He started with a slow, silent fart. […]
